Despite what you think, you are valuable - and here’s why…
Self-compassion is one of the most radical, transformative gifts we can offer ourselves, and yet for many people, it feels like the last thing they are allowed to have. So many of us move through the world with an inner critic that keeps score of every mistake, every perceived shortcoming, every time we fail to meet our own impossibly high standards. This voice whispers or shouts that we are not enough, not worthy, not lovable unless we can prove otherwise. But what happens when we begin to meet that voice with self-compassion? We begin to dismantle it. We begin to see our own humanity for what it is—complex, flawed, beautiful, and worthy—and in doing so, we uncover a deep well of self-worth that has been there all along.
Compassion at its core is understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. When we apply these qualities to others, we step into a generous and expansive way of seeing the world. We can look at someone else’s mistakes and think, “Of course they did that; they are only human. They are struggling, learning, trying their best.” We might notice that we naturally soften, we let go of judgment, and we forgive them for their humanness.
When we begin to notice this process of understanding and forgiving others, it becomes almost impossible to deny the natural conclusion: we are human too. We will stumble, falter, overreact, forget, and fail sometimes—not because we are unworthy, but because this is what it means to live a human life. And just like every other human, we are deserving of the same compassion we extend to them. If we can believe that someone else is doing their best under the weight of their circumstances, then we must consider that we are too.
Self-compassion is what kills the inner critic, not by silencing it with force, but by dissolving its power. That voice thrives on shame and separation, on convincing us that we are uniquely broken. Compassion answers back, “No. I am human. I make mistakes. I learn. I grow. And that is enough.” Over time, the critic becomes quieter, less convincing, because compassion has shifted the story. The story is no longer that our worth depends on perfection; the story is that our worth is inherent, unchanging, and shared equally with every other human being on this planet.
When we embrace this truth, something extraordinary happens: we begin to see that our very survival, our continued willingness to exist and try again in a world that is not always easy, is evidence of our value. Life is demanding. To wake up each day and keep moving forward, to feel pain and continue to hope, to experience loss and keep loving, requires immense courage and effort. If we measured worth in terms of effort to survive, to endure, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, then every single human being would be infinitely valuable.
And perhaps that is the point: our worth is not a number, it cannot be tallied or compared, and it does not fluctuate with success or failure. It is the same in all of us, unmeasurable and unconditional. The mere fact that you exist, that you are part of this complicated, beautiful human experience, means you are as valuable as any other person. You are worthy of happiness, love, and peace, simply because you are human.
I was reminded of this recently when I made a new friend who quietly radiates a sense of self-worth that I found both calming and inspiring. He carries himself with a kind of grounded confidence, not the loud, boastful kind that demands attention, but the quiet kind that simply exists. He knows he is valuable, not because anyone else has stamped him with approval, but because he has decided that he is. He doesn’t waste his energy trying to convince people to see his worth or defending himself against the judgments of others. He simply stands in it.
When I got to know him better, I learned that he had been through the kind of life upheaval that could make anyone doubt themselves. He had endured a painful divorce, became estranged from his children for a time, lost friends along the way, and had to start over financially from almost nothing. He confessed that he had walked through some very dark thoughts in those lonely, disorienting years. And yet, what emerged from that period was not a man diminished by life, but a man who had forged an unshakable sense of value.
Now, he doesn’t allow anyone to treat him poorly. He doesn’t shrink himself to keep the peace or chase the approval of people who fail to see his worth. He fights for the things that matter deeply to him—like his children—and he refuses to invest his energy in anything or anyone that erodes the way he feels about himself. His worth no longer feels like something he has to argue for or defend; it’s simply his. And if someone doesn’t see it, he isn’t angry or desperate to change their mind—he just moves on, because he understands that his value was never up for negotiation.
When people begin to realise this, something shifts inside. Life feels a little lighter. The relentless push to prove yourself eases. You can breathe. And in that space, hope and courage grow. Self-compassion does not make you complacent; it gives you the energy to keep going because you finally understand that your worth is not in question. You are free to try, to fail, to learn, and to live with an open heart because the foundation of your value is unshakable.
Therapy can be a powerful place to explore these ideas further. A psychologist can guide you in noticing the voice of your inner critic, learning where it came from, and gently teaching your mind and heart a new way to respond. Therapy can help you practise self-compassion until it becomes second nature, so that each time the critic speaks, you can meet it with understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. Over time, this practice can transform the way you see yourself and your place in the world, helping you not just survive, but thrive in the knowledge that you are, and always have been, enough.
If you are ready to take that step toward self-compassion and uncover the self-worth that has been waiting within you, consider booking an appointment with a psychologist. Reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness—it is a profound act of self-kindness, and the beginning of a journey toward seeing and embracing your own value.
